Lord Jesus, Can I have this talk with You?

 I remember waking up to the sound of Mother's plaintive voice requesting,

Lord Jesus, can I have a talk with you

Lord Jesus, it won't be  long before I'm through
Lord Jesus, I got to tell You 'bout my cares
Lord Jesus, all the burdens that I bear
Lord Jesus, although the storm and billows roll
Lord Jesus, You've been a comfort to my soul
Lord Jesus, I just come to have this talk with You
My Lordy, this talk with You."

Decades later, those lyrics arose from their crypt, dusted themselves off, and erupted in my spirit.  Just like that.  Barely out of my teenage years, I began singing the song when times would've become exquisitely painful.  The lyrics soothed, but also spawned an emotional numbness that lingered.  Still, it took decades more before I "woke up and smelled the coffee."

  Its aroma brought awareness, enough to understand that while I made my request known unto God,  my attempts to do it failed. I didn't "treat" (pray) and move my "feet" (act), as I'd learned in the third decade of life. I did not "Say it, say it, say it, until you see it, see it, see it," as an evangelist advised. Her counsel took another few years before germinating and blossoming.  Truly no lightning flashed or thunder rolled! 

For years, I'd make the forty-mile roundtrip commute to work, speculating, "I really should ask God for this or that;" yet, I never did.  I'd literally allow "thinking" to substitute for "asking." Whatever "it" was.  Until spontaneously one morning I blurted, "God, teach me how to pray!"  ( Philippians 4:6).

Long ago, as a kid in Sunday school, I'd memorized "The Disciples Prayer," found in the Gospels (Books of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John).  While I didn't appreciate the privilege it offered until I grew into young adulthood, the sheer beauty of the invocation remains with me still.  Too, King Solomon's teachings expanded knowledge and increased wisdom.

"Wisdom is a gift from a generous God, and every word he speaks is full of revelation and becomes a fountain of understanding within you" (Proverbs 2:6, (tPt).  And, 

"Trust in the Lord completely, and do not rely on your own opinions.  With all your heart rely on him to guide you, and he will lead you in every decision you make" (Proverbs 3:5).  And

"The best way to live is with revelation-knowledge, for without it, you'll grow impatient and run right into error" (Proverbs 19:2, tPt).  

FYI, Proverbs and Ecclesiastics aren't the only Books that instruct, bless, and comfort; 64 others do, also. I know you already knew!

Truly, Holy Spirit taught me to pray.  Subsequently,  I'd confess to anyone who'd listen "There's no prayer I've prayed that God has not answered! I may not have recognized it at the time or maybe it wasn't the response I wanted or expected.  Nevertheless,  God  heard me and answered!" Understanding evolved only after awareness invaded and took up residence in my thoughts. I had not entered into a relationship with God.  I  had not known Him "in the pardon of my sins," as the deacons of my childhood used to acknowledge (Romans 5: 6-10).

Truth be told, my "little talks with Jesus" had little in common with Mother's threadbare pleas because she truly knew Him! In fact, the intimacy borne by the tsunamis in her life saved me from bearing the burdens that held hostage her desires and dreams.  Finally, I understood that prayers live forever in Spirit.  From that knowingness came the understanding that Love is Spirit and Spirit never dies.  'Nuff said.

Sing on forever, Mother; sing on!