Choice

It begins with a choice.  It ends with a choice.  Choice.  Choice occupies the driver's seat at each of life's mileposts.   Landmark research by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross strongly suggests at the end of life people choose when they accept death  (On Death and Dying).  A person decides.  What constitutes a choice? My favored definition identifies choice with freedom since freedom represents one's ability to select. 

I'm not sure that choice garners adequate attention in public education settings.  Consequently, teenagers typically graduate with scant preparation for adult decision-making.    I can't speak about private schools' curricula.  I can say with certainty, though, that not enough attention was given to choice, freedom, or decision-making when I taught middle and high school students in public schools.   

STOP! Now take your left or right hand (whichever one is dominant), place it on your right (or left) shoulder, and pat it three or more times.  What just happened? You've given yourself a "pat on the back!" You've done what the warrior-king David did to encourage himself.

A truly fascinating man, David fought and won many battles, the most memorable one centering on a nine-foot, nine-inches giant named Goliath.   Just one of the first in a series of triumphs, David later faced a most difficult defeat that overshadowed even Goliath's defeat.

"Now it happened, when David and his men came to Ziklag, on the third day, that the Amalekites had invaded the South, attacked Ziklag and burned it with fire, and had taken captive the women and those who were there, from small to great; they did not kill anyone, but carried them away and went their way.  So David and his men came to the city, and there it was, burned with fire; and their wives, their sons, and their daughters had been taken captive.  Then David and the people who were with him lifted up their voices and wept until they had no more power to weep.  And David's two wives, Ahinoam the Jezreelite, and Abigail, the widow of Nabal the Carmelite, had been taken captive.  Now David was greatly distressed, for the people spoke of stoning him, because the soul of the people was grieved, every man and his sons and his daughters.  But David strengthened himself in the Lord his God."

In essence, David patted himself on the back, then turned to his Creator.  The lesson is visceral and timely, whenever it may be read.  Many of us are overwhelmed with the "stuff" of everyday survival.  Tornadoes or hurricanes may physically knock us off our feet.  We may lose our balance in the face of wildfires and tumultuous societal upheaval.  Fear of lack may beset us and curtail everyday needs.  Oh, my!

Often, I can find neither friend nor foe to whom I can tell my troubles.  However, whenever I feel alone and bereft, I've learned to encourage myself with a pat or two on the back.  I learned this technique while researching methods to present the controversial concept of "Diversity as a Business Initiative" to employees in the workforce. 

"A Pat on the Back" offered a technique, an "icebreaker," designed to put seminar attendees at ease. It worked just as effectively with line employees as with middle and upper-level managers!  A collective sigh of relief would whisper throughout the room and signal a willingness to participate in exploring a decidedly new approach to workplace challenges.  Later, attendees would tell me that they'd also use it away from the job.   No matter whatever dimensions of diversity each possessed, to a person everyone felt better after a pat on the back!  

Self-care warrants making "a pat on the back" a go-to in any and all situations., whether before, during, or after personal issues or societal circumstances.  God pats me on the back when He assures, "Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God, I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand" (Isaiah 41:10).  

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