Speak the Word 2

God knows the uneasiness and concern, the fluctuations, flagging and dragging, that ease effortlessly into my spirit.   "O Lord, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar.  You search out my path and my lying down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar." (Psalm 139: 1-3, ESV)

Yes, I'd been fretting, even murmuring but eventually turning my attention elsewhere.  Gideon and I connected!   

I remembered the Saturday afternoon and a vision I'd seen years ago.   (What else could it have been?)  Since Saturday's been my traditional "chore day" for two decades, I'd decided I'd earned a mid-afternoon nap.  I lay in bed, eyes closed and breathing rhythmically.  

I can't see the front steps from my bedroom since a cupola hides them.  Yet, I saw two young guys sitting on the front steps.  They appeared really relaxed as they rested elbows on their knees.  They seemed just to be "shooting the breeze that beautiful afternoon.  "Who are they? What're they doing sitting and talking on my front porch?" 

While I'd never "seen" them before, I felt no consternation, no dismay.   It didn't really bother me that much that they'd chosen my porch.  "They're Africans! I don't know how I knew---I just did!  Since that "encounter" years ago, I've never been afraid to be in my home alone, even over days and nights.  I stopped pacing the floor until early Sunday mornings worrying and waiting for my teenage grandson to get home (long after curfew had come and gone).

"Tho the load gets heavy,
You're never left alone to bear it all;
Just ask for strength and keep on toiling,
tho the teardrops fall
You have the joy of this assurance:
The heavenly Father will always answer prayer and He knows,
Yes, He knows
Just how much you can bear."

Frankly, I used to jump at my shadow, imagining creaking stairs when there'd never been a creak, and generally wearing thin my one remaining nerve.  I'd worn the full complement of them thin during my daughters' turbulent teenage years. "I've got one nerve left and I'm saving it for menopause," I'd moan!  Fear spawns more fear so, until that Saturday afternoon, it was the only dirge muscle memory recorded.

That Saturday marked the end of fear that fed insomnia.  I've never seen the two (I call them) angels.  I assume they're on patrol 24-7 or they are busy bringing "joy unspeakable and full of glory" into my heart." That beats ZzzQuil any night!

All night, all day,
Angels watching over me, my Lord
All night, all day,
Angels watching over me.

Now I lay me down to sleep
Angels watching over me, my Lord.
Pray the Lord, my soul, to keep,
Angels watching over me."