Precious Holy Spirit

It took a while (years?), before I realized God had been answering my request to teach me.  At the time, my awareness of the chasm between what I knew and what I needed to know kept widening. In desperation, I cried out, "God, help me! Teach me!" Thankfully, since I didn't know what I didn't know   I couldn't specify pockets of ignorance, so my request lay open-ended.  Long before seminal Scriptures "opened my eyes so I could see to follow Thee," He was teaching me.  His instruction produced peace that "passed all understanding, guarded my heart," and calmed the roiling in my soul.

I had asked God for knowledge and loving and generous Father He is, He added wisdom.  Initially, had I seriously believed He would answer? Actually, I didn't know what I thought.  Too, like so many of my requests, had I just forgotten about it?  At any rate, I probably assumed the request had landed in a "Yes, no, or maybe" file drawer.  "Unbeknownst to me (as Mama used to say),"  God began teaching me at the moment of my request; He has never stopped---not even for summer recess.

Matthew 7: 7-8; Mark 11:24; and Luke 17:6 became my "Go-to" verses, along with numerous backup Scriptures, sagas, and poetry from the Old and New Testaments.   Most significantly, my faith flourished. "It's in Your hands, Jesus.  I'm asking You to fix it"  became my clarion call in distressing, disappointing, or despairing situations.

So it is, Holy Spirit, that now I find myself asking you the question that looms as an impenetrable wall to scale.  How can I quiet, stifle, or stop the ceaseless chatter I constantly hear which tells me I'm not trusting You? I cannot deny I hear it; it's real.  Why do I subconsciously plant doubts that grow wild, like uncontrolled weeds?  Your Word advises me to take no thought for tomorrow, for tomorrow will take care of itself.  So why am I fixating on what might happen next  Wednesday? 

Why am I wondering what I'll do if an unexpected expense appears? What if that check I wrote for the electric bill doesn't clear? Will I have enough of a balance to buy all the groceries I'll need? And on and on, even when I have a healthy checking account balance! (Grand) Mama would shake her head in resignation as she explained, "The devil stays busy, Baby.  But you know in the ends he loses to God again."  And I believed her, just as I believe Apostle Paul who wrote, 

"Keep in mind that we who belong to Jesus, the Anointed One, have already experienced crucifixion.  For everything connected with our self-life was put to death on the cross and crucified with Messiah.  We must live in the Holy Spirit and follow after him." (Galatians 5: 24-25).  Those quick-sprouting, errant thoughts have no place in my life.  Period.  Yet, they seem to slither in my mind just like that six-foot snake made its entry into my closed garage last week!

I need Your help, Holy Spirit. I need You.

Part Two coming soon:  "It's Not About Me!"