Perspective

 

Actually,  the honest question begins with, "Who's in charge here?" I find much too often that I've fallen into an insidious trap.  I take responsibility for everything, especially the critical, make-or-break determinations within my franchise.  Yes, everything.  Glutton for pain?  Hmm.  When reality intrudes, then I wrestle with failure in all its iterations: fallen, failing, or failed. This leads to a threadbare "go-to"blame-game.  Maybe, somebody bigger than poor little me?

Mind machinations birth insane offspring. Self-recrimination serves as a parliamentarian, yes, so I don a Sherlockian cap and cape and search for a get-out-of-jail clue.  I meant well.  I used a tried-and-true problem solving and decision-making methodology.   The right people weren't available.   It worked before!   And on and on until exhausted, I throw up both my hands and retreat.  After a good long sulk, I send me a gilt-edged Pity Party invitation.

While repetition brings retention, it also accounts for a  form of lunacy.  No, I'm not "crazy" as much as I crave certainty and success.   Every piece of the puzzle must fit snugly.  What must I do? Go back to the drawing board? Ask the same probing questions I would ask after a defeat?  After all, when was the last time anyone asked me to walk a mile in the Creator's shoes? Honestly? Never.

So, who is the "somebody"? Have we been introduced? Evidently, because I hear  (no, I'm not hearing things!), yet I intuit a voice intoning, "Humble yourself under the mighty hand of God." What? None of this occurs with the snap of a finger or the blink of an eye. What's the source? The heart? The heart? Yes! How? "Ask, and it shall be given you" (Matthew 7:7).  

I remember, years ago, when a middle-aged woman in a country church in unincorporated Las Vegas sang refrain after refrain after refrain of an untitled song, "I turned it over to Jesus and I stopped worryin' about it, and He worked it out."  That was it! How quickly I had forgotten!  How easily I had gotten swallowed in the hustle and bustle of seeking the good life.  Or rushed headlong into problems of my own design.

Innocently, yes.  But just as dangerous.  Consequently,  I keep having to learn the same lesson again and again: Seek God.  Trust God.  Ask God.  Believe God.  Depend on God, especially when everything looks bleaker than bleak. The deacons in my parents' church promised, "He's never too busy.  He's never late.  He may not come when you want Him but He's always on time. Jesus on the Main Line, tell Him what you want. Call Him up and tell Him what you want." 

Just do it.

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