Words Matter

"Grandma, I got my puberty!"

WHAT? What do you mean?"

Looking at her as if she'd suddenly grown two heads, ten-year-old Dominick repeated slowly, "I told you.  I got my puberty." 

Slow down, Sweetie. and explain what you mean." Her mind racing, as Grandma frantically flipped through a slim file of the few male friends she could turn him over to.  Someone who could help her navigate these potentially dangerous waters.

"Look, Grandma, look! I got hair on my upper lip! I saw them when I was washing my face this morning."  He smiled smugly as he beamed with pride.

Silently, Grandma screamed, "Thank You, Jesus! I dodged that bullet.  NowI can breathe again." 

Words matter. Whether an "I got my puberty" announcement from a precocious grandson or a Pauline pronouncement, "Pray without ceasing" (1 Thessalonians 5:7) written centuries earlier, words matter.  As a kid, I often faced the threat of soap-in-the-mouth.  

"Do you want me to wash your mouth out with a bar of this soap, Girl?"  

How was I to answer Mother who had the uncanny knack of catching me using my cussing prowess to protect my 18-month older brother? Or, sometimes when I just wanted to imitate the consummate cussing skills of my favorite Aunt, Mother's younger sister?  Sister could give a seasoned sailor a run for his money!

Later, I learned not to blurt out my first response so fluidly.  Unappetizing, it turns out. to have to "eat my words," having nothing with which to wash it down.  After more downs than ups, I figured out that counting from 10 to zero before saying anything to anybody from whatever prompting, stood me in good stead.  

It saved multiple "I'm sorry" retreats.  Instead, I began to ask rather than exhort.  It became easier to pose open-ended questions and wait for answers before I pounced! (Just joshing.)  And leading with the probing technique curtailed feuds, fights, and futile sparrings.  

Importantly, I now practice listening more and talking less. "So keep your thoughts continually fixed on all that is authentic and real, honorable and admirable, beautiful and respectful, pure and holy, merciful and kind" Philippians 4:8 (tPt).  Period.