Grieving the Living

Grief takes myriad configurations, especially when we experience the physical death of a person, animal, or even a favorite fiscus. We grieve the once-living in countless ways as we wrestle with the movements of grief. Shock and suffering engulf us as we stumble, stand still, or are rendered impotent on the journey to recovery and tenuous acceptance. Or as much as we can.  

Many of us end up comfortless and confused.  However, others of us grieve still-alive-and-often-vibrant people who squander time, talent, and opportunity. For no apparent reason.  How often as the relative, friend, or even teacher, have I  sighed and thought, "What a waste!" The "whys" we ask about death differ markedly from the questions we wonder about the living person who appears to be uninvolved, detached, or indifferent. 

Life stands ready to empower them.  Yet, they just mark  staccato time in the drumbeat of life. Why? Why? Why don't those who appear to have the most promise avail themselves to the challenges waiting to be harvested?  Why won't they live up to minimal expectations? 

And why don't I question their motives or lethargy?  Why do I give them a pass? Am I so invested in my own pain that theirs don't resonate within me? I hope not! Why not confront behaviors from others that cause me grief? It seems I turn my head or close my eyes to so many who squander gifts and jettison talents for no discernible reasons. 

Remember the parable of talents, which tell of  the man who before going on a lengthy journey entrusts three servants with five, two, and one talent, respectively.  When he returns to settle accounts, the servant with five and the other with two have doubled theirs.  But the one with one talent had decided to bury his.  The owner doubled the rewards to the two productive servants, but berated the third for doing nothing and gave the one talent to the servant who had doubled his five talents. 

You can decipher the lesson learned.  The poet John Donne penned, "No man is an island.  Entire of itself....Any man's death diminishes me."  And I say: Any death, no matter the form loss takes, assails me.  Let me fully awaken, I pray, to  actively engage with others, especially those who grieve me.  Really wake up and act on our behalf! 

In the lyrics of David Whittley I will declare, "If I can help somebody, as I travel along.  If I can help somebody with a word or song. If I can help somebody from doing wrong. No, my living shall not be in vain."