What to Do When You Don't Know What to Do

What Do You Do When You Don't Know What to Do?

Erykah Badu's answer in song was, "You'd better call Tyrone!" Who's Tyrone? In song, he's Erykah's male friend's "best bud."  (I always feel uncomfortable using "boyfriend" as a descriptor of a woman's paramour.  First and foremost, if you're a "boy," I feel you're too young to have an adult relationship. Plus, the term has certainly changed in the 21st century, when users of language attempt to be more precise.  As well, it could be a consequence of the "Politically Correct" mania that dominated behaviors the last two decades of the 20th century. Parenthetically, we're suffering its backlash now. So, what do you call a man who's in a relationship with a woman? Man-friend? Special person? Lover? My Dude?  Honey? I really don't know and probably won't when I get one! And I did say when.)

Anyway, Erykah's Friend  would be considered "trifling" by my Mother's standards. He's changed since they first "hooked up."  Now it seems, he's become stingy ("You don't ever buy me nothing"), and now his "Homeboys" evidently accompany him everywhere, including when he visits Erykah. He evidently asked her what he should do about their state of affairs.  She's fed up to here! So her advice is pithy:

"I think you better call Tyrone.  And tell him come on help you get your s- - -.  Yeah! you better call Tyrone. But you can't use my phone."

She's really fed up!  Yet, it's not her fault, nor his.  They confined the relationship  to self, for problem solving, decision making, and even trivial pursuits.  Isn't it funny? We seem to think that we have all the answers, almost as if the Earth only began when we made our grand entrance.  "Isn't she lovely," Stevie Wonder sang minutes after his precious, baby daughter was born.  Those of us fortunate to have doting parents and grandparents remember being bathed in love and acceptance.  She has my looks! He has my brains! You can grow up and become president of the United States!. No wonder we become self-absorbed and in the extreme, often narcissistic.  That''s why blame can't really be assigned to either, she for her  expectations or he for his lackadaisical attitude.

Instead, I suggest their relationship might change if they looked to the Word:  Psalm 146:3 warns us "Do not put your trust in princes, in mortal men, who cannot save" (NIV).  Rather, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding...Be not wise in your own eyes..." (Proverbs 3: 5, 7, ESV).  That's not bad advice for any of us.  Trust, though, can be hard, especially in a Spirit we cannot see.  That's for sure.  

It's hard enough to trust in people, because none is perfect.  We've all fallen short of the glory of God.  Often, we have problems learning even o trust blood relatives.  Trust takes time to develop, often a lifetime.  It's taken me a hundred years, for sure, but I'm learning to trust God first.  As a result, trusting others grows and even flourishes.  For heaven's sake, please don't call Tyrone!